Queen of corruption capital

Okay so this story is almost a little bit too random not to tell...
Yesterday, I spent most of my day with the family celebrating my little cousin's birthday. I came home tired as shit and then my "not really my boyfriend but practically my boyfriend" guy asked me to come out to Fionn's. In all honesty, I was way too tired to go and I didn't want to pay for a cab but after telling my friend that I wanted to go but wasn't entirely down to find the means of getting there and coming back, she told me she'd meet up with me there and then drive me home. So I went.
Anyway, I think I must be the bestestest friend of all time ever, while simultaneously being the worst influence ever because when my "not really my boyfriend but practically my boyfriend" guy put it in my mind that my friend ought'a hook up with one of his best friends, I instantly did everything in my will and power to make that happen.
I'm a little bit of a tragedy at best, but I do recall telling my best friend the following: "It's YOUR summer, bitch, I'm not down to be a whore this summer, but there's nothing stopping you from being one!!"
Mind you, I was pretty drunk at this point, sure those words were a little bit aggressive, but I'm pretty sure that my effort led to 50% of the following events that part-took throughout the course of the night and I suppose 40% was due to the guy's charisma while the remaining 10% was due to my friend's willingness to do whatever it was she did on her own..

Anyway, after getting to a friends house and passing out on a futon with my "not really my boyfriend but practically my boyfriend" guy in the same room with his friend and my friend, I wake up at roughly 5:30AM to a text message from my friend telling me that she left, not even 10 minutes prior, and she dropped off my purse in front of a bush beside my house. Followed by another text saying "Arriving home with my bra and panties in hand, can't get much classier."

Honestly, I slept through whatever the hell happened last night, save for a moment where I woke up to Carly Rae Jepson and started singing it. Other than that.. well, it's her summer, right? I could potentially be such a horrible friend, but realistically, I never left her metaphorical side and I think my judgment played out pretty well last night. I think I should make my rounds setting my friends up with potential hook ups for the rest of the summer because lord knows that's what I've always been good at, considering that I'm terrible at doing it for myself.

I may as well corrupt my friends since I'm done being corrupted. It was nice being with my "not my boyfriend but practically my boyfriend" guy last night. Anyway, I had a good morning, to say the least.

Reserving my right to a monogamous fuck.

It's self explanatory.
Basically, I screwed around with three guys in 24 hours sometime early last week.
I didn't think I would post that, but this is a reveal-all, tell-all blog so I'm living up to that statement.
Judge me if you will, that's cool, I accept it. I'm not proud of what I did, and I'm beating myself right the fuck up for it too, but hey, you gotta sacrifice some things, like your dignity, to realize where your head really needs to be.

I have absolute butterflies for this guy, I mean damn, he makes me giddy. I haven't smiled this way just thinking about someone in a LONG TIME. He doesn't deserve a dumb bitch like me, but I'm not down to lose him right now because he may just be my saving grace of the summer. If I could have a guy like him forever and for always, I wouldn't complain, but just having him for two more months will suffice and I'm not down for giving him up just because I dun' goofed.

I don't know how to apologize to him because I haven't told him about what happened and to be honest, I don't think I will. I doubt he even reads this blog because I've never talked about this with him before and he's never mentioned it. I really hope he doesn't see this anytime soon.. or ever.

Anyway, the whole point of that was getting it off my chest and putting down in writing that I'm not going to go around making out with randoms or having affairs with exes because there's a guy who I like and really care about and I think...just maybe...it might hurt him to ever find out what I did.

So to the guy I like, although you may never read this, I'm really sorry. I do, I really really do care so much about you. I love our friendship way too much to ruin it by philandering the rest of my summer and I didn't mean to do what I did to intentionally cause harm to you. I know it looks like I'm toying with you, but I'm not. You're better than my thoughtless actions gave way and it took me a shoe-less walk down Queen Street to realize that you really care about me the way you say you do.. I'm not gonna risk doing stupid shit anymore and even though we're not dating or even ever planning to date, I know, just by the way you kiss me, that you would be happier knowing I was just yours for the summer. So here she is, the monogamous summer I promised you. I'm sorry; and knowing you'll never read this, I hope that in the subconscious dream world of astral cosmic existences, we'll somehow find each other so you can forgive me and forget about the entirety of it in your wake. I like you, a lot; and hey, I'm pretty crazy about you too.

A night like any other night: sexually torn but knowing exactly what I wanted..

Saturday night (last night) was a fairly eventful night for me, to say the least, but I wouldn't say it was eventful in my favor. I had fun, don't get me wrong, but I was frustrated because I was literally torn between who to go home with. At the end of the day, it was a no-brainer, literally.

So, after about 6 months since I saw him last, my baby-daddy came down to Brampton to see our son for father's day weekend. Being a late Saturday, my baby-daddy's best friend and I decided to take him to a local bar after pre-drinking at my house, and so a night of drunken endeavors ensued thenceforth.

Went to Fionn MacCool's, the talent wasn't great, but hey, it was a fun night.
I spotted one of my childhood bestfriends and bought us both shots because it was his birthday last week. He insisted on buying me shots later on and like anyone else would, I took him up on the offer. Two cocktails, three glasses of beer, pornstars and two liquid cocaine shots later, I found myself conversing with a girl who randomly knows I'm in love with greek pasta salad about dancing like a hooker, having a pretty ravishing mack-sesh with the childhood bestfriend that I friend-zoned 7 years ago, then to be kissed by the greek-pasta girl... a couple times...and kind of enjoying it, then trying to establish whether I was cabbing home or cabbing to the boytoy's house after the bar and being absolutely torn between who I ought to go home with--rather, who I ought to sleep with that night..
I ended up taking a cab back to my house with the baby-daddy and his best friend, and after what only now seems to have been an awkward 10 minute cab-ride conversation about how both my baby-daddy and I filmed our sex with our most recent exes and then conversing about something regarding pig roasts before getting out of the cab, I went straight into my house ate some medley of shellfish, and passed out on my bed, sandwiched between my son and my new kitten.
It was remarkably relieving.

I think at the end of the day, living a life like mine, this triple-role lifestyle as a young mom, a business student, and a 20-year-old night-time slut, your priorities start to shine through when you decide to go straight home and into bed so that your son has you to wake up to every single morning. When sobriety hits, you become extremely relieved when you take in the fact that you didn't go to your buddy's house for a night of freaky drunken sex knowing that it would have resulted in a walk of shame up to the front door of your house at 5 AM, hoping you don't make noise because everyone knows you weren't at a bar until 5.
Yeah, I can thoroughly say that I'm glad that has never happened to me before. I'm happy to say that I don't think it ever will simply because even in my drunken state, my number one priority is making sure my son isn't affected by the ten-thousand different personas I need to be just to live my life and really enjoy it.