cure the dry spell..

I decided to check up on this blog after months of absence and to my surprise, it's still pretty active on a daily basis with a consistent number of views. I suppose that ought to give me some incentive to write more frequently on here, but as of late, I've had very little to write about.
I used to vent on here because I was mostly troubled with my love life and it made more sense to me to vent publicly about someone that was--for the most part--anonymous to all my readers. However, in the seven months that I've been in a steady relationship, I have nothing to vent about. At least not angrily or sorrowfully. And given most of the people who actually read this blog actually know who I'm dating now, I don't think it wise to write about our sex life because as wonderfully exciting as I feel it is, it's one of those topics I'd rather keep to ourselves. Even describing it as "wonderfully exciting" is borderline more detailed than I would typically share about our sex life. *Cue bad imagery... starting....NOW*

However, if there's anything I have learned over the past few years, it's that no one ever gives a fuck about your relationship, but everyone still wants to know most of the juicy details for a fraction of a second's worth of entertainment because for some weird reason, most of us are simply wired to want to know about things we don't actually want to know about. True story.

You know, whether you're out with your boys or your girls you talk about normal stuff like school and work and family and friends and somehow that triggers one gossipy detail about someone's relationship that was heard in passing about them. Then the conversation goes back to some other topic of interest as if their relationship was never discussed and you and all your buddies go back to talking about toiletry brand preferences and the average height between floor to ceilings of levels in industrial buildings.

So, for those curiously looking to indulge into my love life just for the sheer entertainment of reading about someone elses life for a tidbit, or for those who are simply dying to know why Anthony of all people and me are together, I will explain.

You're right to assume that we have little in common. I was never into cars prior to dating him and for those who know him, he's what I like to call a "car junkie" or what he refers to as "gear head". He listens to a lot of rap music and dad rock, meanwhile I'm into virtually everything, but neither rap music or dad rock are personal favourites. And although I do enjoy listening to both genres of music, he hates all my music. I read a lot and he doesn't read at all. I'm very artistic and creative in more ways that take you out of reality than keep you in it, while he is creative in his own way, his ingenuity is very logic-based and for the most part, he does things creatively to enhance things that can be modified for functional and performance purposes. We don't have the same taste in foods and although I do like most of the things he eats, he hates almost everything I eat. Even our taste in telly series and movies are vastly different and the only thing we truly share in cinematic preferences are comedies and man-movies with "car chases, explosions and tits" Meanwhile, I can't stand old-western movies and he seems to love them, and I like a lot of dramas and nerdy fantasy fiction which I have to drag him to watch with me. I'm big on home decor and little details like pattern and colour schemes, from shapes to accents and various finishes and textures. He couldn't give a single crap and again, it doesn't matter what it looks like to the creative eye because aesthetics mean little to him in comparison to function and efficiency.

So why are we together if our likes and hobbies are so dissimilar.
I don't know to be honest with you. It doesn't make much sense to me either. All I know is that when it boils down to what we both value in our lives, the convictions we hold on to and what we stand for as functioning and contributing members of society, we're one in the same. Our principles and ideals with the way things are and should be are on par with each other and our opinions about most things like family and friends and relationships are parallel. Our objectives are the same and the path we prefer to take to get there are the same so I know I'll always have him by my side when I need him. I know that when it comes game time and I need to make an important decision, our minds work so in sync with each other that he will always come out making the same choice as me. It's gotten to the point where even if one day our decisions clattered with each other, I know that we both value each other too much to let a disagreement like that get in the way and we're both open-minded when it comes to making compromise.

If that makes sense to anyone, then there you have it. We don't make sense as a couple if you look at it for all the superficial reasons, but when it comes down to building something strong and something that really matters, we're always on the same page and I can't say I would trade that for anything else in the world.

A light change of pace

So I decided that because most of my actual up-to-date love stories end up on my tumblr, I'll change up the purpose of this blog.
Why not get illegitimate love and relationship advice from the tiny Asian girl with a realm of romance issues and love life dilemmas?  It got me thinking. I'm terrible at following good relationship advice, and I'm even worse at giving it. So I'll give you my relationship advice simply because I think it's a good idea and it will probably be more entertaining than useful at any rate.
Anyway, what are two things I know well? Alcohol and sex.
Kidding.
But for the purpose of this particular blog, I'm going to write a not-so-helpful "what not to do" advisory post.

- I think the number one "what not to do" for any guy or any girl is playing the ex-card.
Anyone who's been in a relationship knows this card. We've all been in this situation, when you're doing something or are in the middle of discussion and somehow you or your partner relates some area of that topic of conversation to an ex. Doing the whole:
"Yeah I dated a guy who did ............."
"Yeah one of my exes used to............"
or the best one yet,
"Why did you do that? That reminds me of this thing my ex used to do, she would......"
I can admit to being an offender of playing the ex-card on multiple occasions. And I'll be honest, after noticing you do it, you'll bite your tongue afterwards and probably wish your bed would eat you alive.
First of all, if you think the other person wants to hear it, they probably don't. Unless they ask you or press you further, don't mention your exes. Ever.
It's bloody annoying to hear.
It's awkward as fuck thereafter.
And if your current partner doesn't want to rip your head off for talking about your multiple exes, then he or she is tolerating you only because you're good in bed.
Truth.
Face it. YOU don't want to hear the person you like or love talk about someone they used to be with. However, don't feel like a criminal if you're guilty of mentioning an ex every once in a while. I mean, an ex is an ex because you spent enough time getting to know them and equally enough time getting to know what you don't like about them so it's no surprise memories would resurface now and again. They were probably an important part of your life at one point, so why wouldn't they leave you with memories that--every once in a while--become relevant to a topic of conversation, I guess in that case, it isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world sometimes, but it's still an unwanted mention of 'Le Ex'. However, to incessantly drag on about this ex and that ex, especially if they're still a part of your life and still keep in touch with you every once in a while, I can guarantee that the relationship you're currently in will end VERY quickly.

- I don't give a fuck if you're drunk or sober or intoxicated in any way; if you are with a group of friends and your boyfriend is among them, DO NOT put him down like he's a piece of shit, for whatever reason. My biggest pet peeve is when I'm hanging out in a group and among us is a couple, and the boyfriend says something or does something, then the girlfriend proceeds to make some obnoxious retort that she probably thinks as being cute with sinister intent and now she looks like an annoying gremlin bitch who treats her boyfriend like shit.
Ladies, it's NOT cute.
When I'm with a guy, I'm usually happy, otherwise, why the fuck would I be with him? Nothing makes me happier than knowing that we can hang out with a group of friends, whether they're my friends or his, and we can get along well with everyone.
On the other hand, there are those girls that will turn to her boyfriend and go. "what the fuck? No, stop talking, idiot."
or "Just shut up, no one wants to listen to that story."
or "You don't know what you're talking about, oh my god, you are so dumb."
Why?
Why do you need to do that? What merit is there in making your boyfriend look like a douche or a dumbass? I mean I don't know too much about what's right or wrong in relationships, but I do know that no one wants to show the world that they treat their boyfriend like shit. And why would you want people to believe that your boyfriend is a piece of shit anyway? I don't get it. I really and truly don't. I looove it when other people can see the best parts of the guy I'm with. It reflects a good image on his character and a good image on my judge of character. If you're NOT embracing his good side when you're out with friends, then what the hell are you doing with him? Case and point.

Might as well give'er

I haven't written in this for quite some time now and with good reason.
As far as relationships are concerned and my personal dealings of love and the like, I'm really happy.
Yes, I know, you're probably thinking I run through men like a new set of batteries every month. I'm impartial to that claim...
Right now I am seeing someone I haven't mentioned before in this blog specifically. There isn't any reason in particular that I can address to explain this, but the closest excuse I have is that I've been too busy being in this relationship to write about it.
We're not necessarily dating but we're in the motions of dealing and it works. He lives around the corner from me so it's kind of funny the way our relationship is. For the record, our relationship has finicky lines to it. I say that because when I use the term "relationship", I mean to refer to it as a "more than just friends" ship. Lest we get this twisted.
So far, I think it's great. The more I get to know him, the more I like about him. I can comfortably say I'm happy and for once I have nothing to complain about. We're pacing ourselves fairly well through this. He gets along so well with my friends. He's on good terms with my brother which is rare.. very rare. He's a stable guy with a good head on his shoulders and honestly, I'm seeing a guy who isn't a closet nutcase.
I'm just remarkably pleased with the way this is going. We're on the same page with everything and we communicate well. There's no hidden messages.. no hieroglyphics I need to decipher,  no binary codes or cryptic securities I need to crack. Everything that needs to be said is said and communicated crystal clear.
He's cooperative and we just work well. I guess you could say we work like a team and its nice having someone who isn't just there to "make you feel good". It's a lot more than that. It's a really good friendship. The fact that everything we are is actually verbalized and defined makes me realize one vital thing...
I don't feel infatuated with him. I don't have this shroud of illusion mesmerizing me into believing he's the greatest thing to walk the face of the earth. I'm not sitting here thinking he's this god of almighty powers and sent from the heavens. I know what he is and what we are and I know how he feels and how I feel and just feel so secure being in this situation because he's not throwing me obstacles that make so little logical sense that I feel like he's intentionally trying to fuck with me. He just is the way he is. No loopholes, no mysteries, no strings attached. That's all there is to it. This is one of the most concrete things I've ever had with a guy simply because usually after a month with a guy, they usually send me into a whirlwind of confusion where I'm literally waiting another 5 months just to figure out what the hell they really want from me and that's absolutely bullshit. Miraculously enough, I don't get that absolute bullshit with this guy and it's a good feeling. To be honest, I like this so much better than being with someone who pretends they're something they're not. I have a major crush on this guy, but hey, he makes an awesome friend, he's kind of the romantic and to be quite fucking honest, I'm happy.