Why Me

There's usually that moment in a relationship or a mutual understanding between two people when the question arises: "Why me?"

As in why do you like me? Why did you pick me? Why did you choose to be with me? Why am I different from everyone else and why does that draw you to me instead of to them?

You can have anyone you want and be with anyone you want. You're smart, you're pretty and you're good at everything. You're different from other girls, you're just so different. Why me?

I'm just an ordinary guy and there's nothing special about me. You could be with someone so much better, so why do you like me?


I told him that everything about him intrigues me. Everything about him interests me. The more I'm with him, the more I want to know about him. And the more I know about him, the more reasons I have to like him. He's different.
I wasn't entirely sober when he asked so it was hard for me to form cohesive thoughts and even harder for me to make comprehensible statements. I said whatever came to mind, and based on experience, that's never a safe bet. But I guess it worked out better that way because what I told him was the genuine truth. There was no filter to my thoughts and the entirety of my intentions were laid out on the table and there was no questioning whether I was hiding or embellishing any of my reasons.

He told me that I was fair. That I was different. He said that most girls usually say the typical thing you would answer with if asked that question, like "because you're cute and funny and nice." Textbook answers, as if that's the only answer to give because it touches on both one's personality and their appearance; and although unoriginal, those answers are valid and usually acceptable.

I didn't say any of those things because he knows I think he's cute, funny and nice. I tell him all the time. Those aren't the greatest reasons to like someone because everyone else could be cute, funny and nice and that simply doesn't characterize the difference between him and any other man on this planet that I could have.

I told him I like him because we get along. I told him that something about him makes me want him--just him--and although I couldn't tell you what it is, I know that something is there. He makes me comfortable and his presence erases my insecurities. Or better yet, I acknowledge my insecurities when I'm around him instead of feeling like I need to hide them. I become comfortable with myself when I'm around him because for some strange reason he has the ability to look past them and I can feel myself being accepted for everything that I am when we're together. I think that's a good reason to like someone.

When he compliments me I actually smile because I know he means it. Some guys feel like its just standard protocol to tell a girl that she's pretty or beautiful or hot and even though it may be a very true statement, when guys say that to me, it's usually whatever. Just whatever. But when he tells me things, anything that compliments the way I look or the way I think or the way I am; anything that compliments my personality or my abilities and my talents, there's so much more embedded in it because I can hear it in his voice and I can see it in the way he looks at me when he says them to me. I can see it, almost as if he compliments me on those things because they make him smile or even because they make him grateful that I'm there with him instead of being somewhere else and with someone else entirely.

He's not perfect by any means. In fact, by technical conventions, he's a pretty average guy. But he's still so different and I feel it.

It's fair to say that you can't help yourself but like someone who makes you feel that way. And its hard not to see that a guy is worth the effort and the time when you can feel how much he cares about you just by the way he looks at you. It's a good feeling. It really fucking is.