So I decided that because most of my actual up-to-date love stories end up on my tumblr, I'll change up the purpose of this blog.
Why not get illegitimate love and relationship advice from the tiny Asian girl with a realm of romance issues and love life dilemmas? It got me thinking. I'm terrible at following good relationship advice, and I'm even worse at giving it. So I'll give you my relationship advice simply because I think it's a good idea and it will probably be more entertaining than useful at any rate.
Anyway, what are two things I know well? Alcohol and sex.
Kidding.
But for the purpose of this particular blog, I'm going to write a not-so-helpful "what not to do" advisory post.
- I think the number one "what not to do" for any guy or any girl is playing the ex-card.
Anyone who's been in a relationship knows this card. We've all been in this situation, when you're doing something or are in the middle of discussion and somehow you or your partner relates some area of that topic of conversation to an ex. Doing the whole:
"Yeah I dated a guy who did ............."
"Yeah one of my exes used to............"
or the best one yet,
"Why did you do that? That reminds me of this thing my ex used to do, she would......"
I can admit to being an offender of playing the ex-card on multiple occasions. And I'll be honest, after noticing you do it, you'll bite your tongue afterwards and probably wish your bed would eat you alive.
First of all, if you think the other person wants to hear it, they probably don't. Unless they ask you or press you further, don't mention your exes. Ever.
It's bloody annoying to hear.
It's awkward as fuck thereafter.
And if your current partner doesn't want to rip your head off for talking about your multiple exes, then he or she is tolerating you only because you're good in bed.
Truth.
Face it. YOU don't want to hear the person you like or love talk about someone they used to be with. However, don't feel like a criminal if you're guilty of mentioning an ex every once in a while. I mean, an ex is an ex because you spent enough time getting to know them and equally enough time getting to know what you don't like about them so it's no surprise memories would resurface now and again. They were probably an important part of your life at one point, so why wouldn't they leave you with memories that--every once in a while--become relevant to a topic of conversation, I guess in that case, it isn't necessarily the worst thing in the world sometimes, but it's still an unwanted mention of 'Le Ex'. However, to incessantly drag on about this ex and that ex, especially if they're still a part of your life and still keep in touch with you every once in a while, I can guarantee that the relationship you're currently in will end VERY quickly.
- I don't give a fuck if you're drunk or sober or intoxicated in any way; if you are with a group of friends and your boyfriend is among them, DO NOT put him down like he's a piece of shit, for whatever reason. My biggest pet peeve is when I'm hanging out in a group and among us is a couple, and the boyfriend says something or does something, then the girlfriend proceeds to make some obnoxious retort that she probably thinks as being cute with sinister intent and now she looks like an annoying gremlin bitch who treats her boyfriend like shit.
Ladies, it's NOT cute.
When I'm with a guy, I'm usually happy, otherwise, why the fuck would I be with him? Nothing makes me happier than knowing that we can hang out with a group of friends, whether they're my friends or his, and we can get along well with everyone.
On the other hand, there are those girls that will turn to her boyfriend and go. "what the fuck? No, stop talking, idiot."
or "Just shut up, no one wants to listen to that story."
or "You don't know what you're talking about, oh my god, you are so dumb."
Why?
Why do you need to do that? What merit is there in making your boyfriend look like a douche or a dumbass? I mean I don't know too much about what's right or wrong in relationships, but I do know that no one wants to show the world that they treat their boyfriend like shit. And why would you want people to believe that your boyfriend is a piece of shit anyway? I don't get it. I really and truly don't. I looove it when other people can see the best parts of the guy I'm with. It reflects a good image on his character and a good image on my judge of character. If you're NOT embracing his good side when you're out with friends, then what the hell are you doing with him? Case and point.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Monday, March 11, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Might as well give'er
I haven't written in this for quite some time now and with good reason.
As far as relationships are concerned and my personal dealings of love and the like, I'm really happy.
Yes, I know, you're probably thinking I run through men like a new set of batteries every month. I'm impartial to that claim...
Right now I am seeing someone I haven't mentioned before in this blog specifically. There isn't any reason in particular that I can address to explain this, but the closest excuse I have is that I've been too busy being in this relationship to write about it.
We're not necessarily dating but we're in the motions of dealing and it works. He lives around the corner from me so it's kind of funny the way our relationship is. For the record, our relationship has finicky lines to it. I say that because when I use the term "relationship", I mean to refer to it as a "more than just friends" ship. Lest we get this twisted.
So far, I think it's great. The more I get to know him, the more I like about him. I can comfortably say I'm happy and for once I have nothing to complain about. We're pacing ourselves fairly well through this. He gets along so well with my friends. He's on good terms with my brother which is rare.. very rare. He's a stable guy with a good head on his shoulders and honestly, I'm seeing a guy who isn't a closet nutcase.
I'm just remarkably pleased with the way this is going. We're on the same page with everything and we communicate well. There's no hidden messages.. no hieroglyphics I need to decipher, no binary codes or cryptic securities I need to crack. Everything that needs to be said is said and communicated crystal clear.
He's cooperative and we just work well. I guess you could say we work like a team and its nice having someone who isn't just there to "make you feel good". It's a lot more than that. It's a really good friendship. The fact that everything we are is actually verbalized and defined makes me realize one vital thing...
I don't feel infatuated with him. I don't have this shroud of illusion mesmerizing me into believing he's the greatest thing to walk the face of the earth. I'm not sitting here thinking he's this god of almighty powers and sent from the heavens. I know what he is and what we are and I know how he feels and how I feel and just feel so secure being in this situation because he's not throwing me obstacles that make so little logical sense that I feel like he's intentionally trying to fuck with me. He just is the way he is. No loopholes, no mysteries, no strings attached. That's all there is to it. This is one of the most concrete things I've ever had with a guy simply because usually after a month with a guy, they usually send me into a whirlwind of confusion where I'm literally waiting another 5 months just to figure out what the hell they really want from me and that's absolutely bullshit. Miraculously enough, I don't get that absolute bullshit with this guy and it's a good feeling. To be honest, I like this so much better than being with someone who pretends they're something they're not. I have a major crush on this guy, but hey, he makes an awesome friend, he's kind of the romantic and to be quite fucking honest, I'm happy.
As far as relationships are concerned and my personal dealings of love and the like, I'm really happy.
Yes, I know, you're probably thinking I run through men like a new set of batteries every month. I'm impartial to that claim...
Right now I am seeing someone I haven't mentioned before in this blog specifically. There isn't any reason in particular that I can address to explain this, but the closest excuse I have is that I've been too busy being in this relationship to write about it.
We're not necessarily dating but we're in the motions of dealing and it works. He lives around the corner from me so it's kind of funny the way our relationship is. For the record, our relationship has finicky lines to it. I say that because when I use the term "relationship", I mean to refer to it as a "more than just friends" ship. Lest we get this twisted.
So far, I think it's great. The more I get to know him, the more I like about him. I can comfortably say I'm happy and for once I have nothing to complain about. We're pacing ourselves fairly well through this. He gets along so well with my friends. He's on good terms with my brother which is rare.. very rare. He's a stable guy with a good head on his shoulders and honestly, I'm seeing a guy who isn't a closet nutcase.
I'm just remarkably pleased with the way this is going. We're on the same page with everything and we communicate well. There's no hidden messages.. no hieroglyphics I need to decipher, no binary codes or cryptic securities I need to crack. Everything that needs to be said is said and communicated crystal clear.
He's cooperative and we just work well. I guess you could say we work like a team and its nice having someone who isn't just there to "make you feel good". It's a lot more than that. It's a really good friendship. The fact that everything we are is actually verbalized and defined makes me realize one vital thing...
I don't feel infatuated with him. I don't have this shroud of illusion mesmerizing me into believing he's the greatest thing to walk the face of the earth. I'm not sitting here thinking he's this god of almighty powers and sent from the heavens. I know what he is and what we are and I know how he feels and how I feel and just feel so secure being in this situation because he's not throwing me obstacles that make so little logical sense that I feel like he's intentionally trying to fuck with me. He just is the way he is. No loopholes, no mysteries, no strings attached. That's all there is to it. This is one of the most concrete things I've ever had with a guy simply because usually after a month with a guy, they usually send me into a whirlwind of confusion where I'm literally waiting another 5 months just to figure out what the hell they really want from me and that's absolutely bullshit. Miraculously enough, I don't get that absolute bullshit with this guy and it's a good feeling. To be honest, I like this so much better than being with someone who pretends they're something they're not. I have a major crush on this guy, but hey, he makes an awesome friend, he's kind of the romantic and to be quite fucking honest, I'm happy.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Just when I thought things were getting better... Well something alwaysrains on my parade
I really haven't written in this in a long time and I want to say the reason why was because I fucked up major and just didn't know what to write, but the truth is, I had a million and one things to write about everything, I just didn't want to jinx myself from slowly working out the rough edges.
So for those who follow this blog, if you can remember the guy I was seeing this summer, the one I was crazy about, fell madly in love with and was remarkably confused about what the hell would happen when he left; if you can remember the guy that left for school, the guy I tried to put aside after I started seeing someone else, the guy I made the conscious decision to leave because I chose someone I didn't love over the guy I knew I would never stop loving; if you can remember that guy, well, I suppose for argument's sake we can say that my decision turned full circle and somehow he's back in my life.
However, the universe is trying to fuck with me. The universe is REALLY trying to fuck with me. I think it's best that I start with the story of how it ended with Stephan.
After the guy I was seeing this summer left for university in September, he left without confirming whether or not we would continue to see each other or not. I started seeing Stephan because when we started talking, he wanted to work on things with me and I believed everything had ended with the guy I was with this summer. I cannot begin describing how heart broken I was knowing we were over, especially because after everything we went through this summer, he left without saying a proper good-bye. Regardless, I told myself that everything happens for a reason and that the whole heart break was just something I needed to get over and move on from, so I tried.
I was wrong about the whole thing. I had to choose between the two and it only made logical sense to stay with Stephan because he was the person I was already with. It didn't matter that I didn't feel for him the way I felt for the guy I was seeing this summer, it just seemed logical. I thought I was being rational, but I'll be honest, it is impossible to be happy with someone knowing that deep down, your heart is with someone else. So for three more weeks I tried my best to be happy with Stephan, and you know what, I was to some degree. But every time I left his place after spending a good day with him, it wasn't him I was thinking of. It wasn't him I missed. It wasn't him I wanted to be with.
My baby-daddy came down for Halloween, he took me to dinner, bought us drinks and we spent two really awesome days together as the parents we are for my son. We opened up to each other and he was there for me when I told him about everything that had happened. When I told him I didn't know what to do. He said to me, "Honestly, Czar, I don't know what to tell you. You're with Stephan but you love [the name of the guy you were seeing this summer] and you say he loves you back. Take it from someone who knows, if you let this keep going, you'll never be happy with Stephan and you'll miss out completely on being with the guy you SHOULD be with." My baby-daddy doesn't typically give good advice, and when he does, he doesn't typically follow it. But I did take his word for it and a week later, I told Stephan I loved someone else. He told me he was really upset it had to end that way, but at least now he knows where my heart is. And with that, it was over.
I figured I'd just be single and leave it at that. I would rather have no one at all than be with someone I didn't want to be with.
I didn't tell the other guy why Stephan and I really stopped seeing each other and that it was because I was still in love with him because to be honest, I wasn't ready for him to know that. So when he asked, I told him that "I lost interest" in Stephan. Oddly enough, I was given a second chance. So the one I was seeing this summer is now the guy I'm seeing this winter.
No. That's a lie. He's so much more than just the guy I was seeing or am seeing, but I just don't know what we are definitively... I never know what we are definitively and that's the worst part. I guess it's because we're not officially anything except two people who love each other with no rhyme or reason to what we are or what we do. Which is probably why I'm always confused when it comes to him. Despite that though, whenever we're actually together, I know exactly what I am, who I am and where I want to be. So for all intents and purposes, I shall refer to him as "the guy I love" to maintain his anonymity.
So now that you are caught up, here's the thing.
Remember when I was ripping my hair out all summer because I didn't want to lose him when he moved to university? Well he's away at university, probably living the life, I don't know. If he's sleeping with other girls, I don't know. If it matters anymore, I don't even know. I really don't even know anymore. All I can say is that I want him and something is telling me I can't have him because even though he's giving me that chance to work things out; here we have yet another dilemma.
He's moving. Two hours away from the dingy city of Brampton. So not only does he go to school two hours away, but in the summer, he will no longer be a 10 minute drive from home.
When he mentioned it this week, about moving to Brighton in April, I recall him saying "We still haven't talked about what's happening when I move."
Consider the topic immediately diverted because I didn't know HOW to talk about what's happening when he moves.
This is all I have to say about that:
Have you ever wanted something so badly, you almost felt selfish knowing that you'd do whatever the fuck it takes to have it and KEEP it?
I do feel selfish, I would literally do anything and everything to have him and keep him and I don't even care if he moves because I love him. I love his stupid face and I love his stupid voice and I love his stupid laugh and his stupid walk and his stupid kisses and his stupid touch... I just love him and the only thing stupid about it is the fact that I love him so much that I can't let go. I want to let go, I want to because it hurts knowing I love someone who's impossible to be with. He's just impossible to have. For some reason, the universe is fucking with me, and I don't think he will ever be mine and it sucks. It really fucking sucks. And fuck it, you know what, I've always been so generous when I'm in-love; I would give him the world and more if I could. But this time I want to be selfish because I want him. I don't want anyone else, but him.
So for those who follow this blog, if you can remember the guy I was seeing this summer, the one I was crazy about, fell madly in love with and was remarkably confused about what the hell would happen when he left; if you can remember the guy that left for school, the guy I tried to put aside after I started seeing someone else, the guy I made the conscious decision to leave because I chose someone I didn't love over the guy I knew I would never stop loving; if you can remember that guy, well, I suppose for argument's sake we can say that my decision turned full circle and somehow he's back in my life.
However, the universe is trying to fuck with me. The universe is REALLY trying to fuck with me. I think it's best that I start with the story of how it ended with Stephan.
After the guy I was seeing this summer left for university in September, he left without confirming whether or not we would continue to see each other or not. I started seeing Stephan because when we started talking, he wanted to work on things with me and I believed everything had ended with the guy I was with this summer. I cannot begin describing how heart broken I was knowing we were over, especially because after everything we went through this summer, he left without saying a proper good-bye. Regardless, I told myself that everything happens for a reason and that the whole heart break was just something I needed to get over and move on from, so I tried.
I was wrong about the whole thing. I had to choose between the two and it only made logical sense to stay with Stephan because he was the person I was already with. It didn't matter that I didn't feel for him the way I felt for the guy I was seeing this summer, it just seemed logical. I thought I was being rational, but I'll be honest, it is impossible to be happy with someone knowing that deep down, your heart is with someone else. So for three more weeks I tried my best to be happy with Stephan, and you know what, I was to some degree. But every time I left his place after spending a good day with him, it wasn't him I was thinking of. It wasn't him I missed. It wasn't him I wanted to be with.
My baby-daddy came down for Halloween, he took me to dinner, bought us drinks and we spent two really awesome days together as the parents we are for my son. We opened up to each other and he was there for me when I told him about everything that had happened. When I told him I didn't know what to do. He said to me, "Honestly, Czar, I don't know what to tell you. You're with Stephan but you love [the name of the guy you were seeing this summer] and you say he loves you back. Take it from someone who knows, if you let this keep going, you'll never be happy with Stephan and you'll miss out completely on being with the guy you SHOULD be with." My baby-daddy doesn't typically give good advice, and when he does, he doesn't typically follow it. But I did take his word for it and a week later, I told Stephan I loved someone else. He told me he was really upset it had to end that way, but at least now he knows where my heart is. And with that, it was over.
I figured I'd just be single and leave it at that. I would rather have no one at all than be with someone I didn't want to be with.
I didn't tell the other guy why Stephan and I really stopped seeing each other and that it was because I was still in love with him because to be honest, I wasn't ready for him to know that. So when he asked, I told him that "I lost interest" in Stephan. Oddly enough, I was given a second chance. So the one I was seeing this summer is now the guy I'm seeing this winter.
No. That's a lie. He's so much more than just the guy I was seeing or am seeing, but I just don't know what we are definitively... I never know what we are definitively and that's the worst part. I guess it's because we're not officially anything except two people who love each other with no rhyme or reason to what we are or what we do. Which is probably why I'm always confused when it comes to him. Despite that though, whenever we're actually together, I know exactly what I am, who I am and where I want to be. So for all intents and purposes, I shall refer to him as "the guy I love" to maintain his anonymity.
So now that you are caught up, here's the thing.
Remember when I was ripping my hair out all summer because I didn't want to lose him when he moved to university? Well he's away at university, probably living the life, I don't know. If he's sleeping with other girls, I don't know. If it matters anymore, I don't even know. I really don't even know anymore. All I can say is that I want him and something is telling me I can't have him because even though he's giving me that chance to work things out; here we have yet another dilemma.
He's moving. Two hours away from the dingy city of Brampton. So not only does he go to school two hours away, but in the summer, he will no longer be a 10 minute drive from home.
When he mentioned it this week, about moving to Brighton in April, I recall him saying "We still haven't talked about what's happening when I move."
Consider the topic immediately diverted because I didn't know HOW to talk about what's happening when he moves.
This is all I have to say about that:
Have you ever wanted something so badly, you almost felt selfish knowing that you'd do whatever the fuck it takes to have it and KEEP it?
I do feel selfish, I would literally do anything and everything to have him and keep him and I don't even care if he moves because I love him. I love his stupid face and I love his stupid voice and I love his stupid laugh and his stupid walk and his stupid kisses and his stupid touch... I just love him and the only thing stupid about it is the fact that I love him so much that I can't let go. I want to let go, I want to because it hurts knowing I love someone who's impossible to be with. He's just impossible to have. For some reason, the universe is fucking with me, and I don't think he will ever be mine and it sucks. It really fucking sucks. And fuck it, you know what, I've always been so generous when I'm in-love; I would give him the world and more if I could. But this time I want to be selfish because I want him. I don't want anyone else, but him.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
annnd as it turns out.....
So neither chelc-3p0 or myself have written in this particular blog in a while, I'm sure I know why she hasn't, but that's her story, not mine. Anywho, turning the page..
With my son's birthday party coming up and everything else just slowly falling into place, I can truthfully say that my head's where it needs to be right now. No more shenaniganery for the remainder of the summer, and most certainly not once school starts in September.
It's sincerely a-significant-as-hell-lot more fun working on crafts and other neat shit for my son than it is to philander about like a semi-triumphant nymphomaniac anyway. On top of that, I'm personally very happy with the person I'm seeing now and yeah, my head's just in the right place right now. It feels good to be busy... of course it helps when I have the son, the best friends, and the guy to keep me occupied, but I think I like this situation a lot better than the one I was in two weeks ago. It's a lot easier knowing where you are and what you want... as opposed to being lost and confused with short term goals.
Anyway, the whole point of this post is to mindlessly vent.. It's not venting, really. I'm not pissed... I just need to get some thoughts off my chest..
As stated before, I'm happy. I don't feel lost or confused or angry or disappointed or heart broken or distraught or dissatisfied or sad or bored or sorry or even mellow and contented.. I'm genuinely happy without a hint of underlying somber nonchalance.. So let me explain..
I'm seeing a guy right now who I really like.. no, I REALLY like him. I guess you can say we've been "seeing" each other a little after summer started. I don't know how or why we got where we are, but I guess you could say it's because he was very persistent in his pursuit? Yeah, I guess you could say that... well, at least I'm going to say that anyway.
So far, it's been great. He makes me happy and he doesn't make me feel self-conscious about being such a young mom like most other guys do, and that's always comforting.
I suppose from that vantage point, it looks quite well and dandy...
In September, he's going back to school about 2 hours away from here, the decrepit city of Brampton, to a place that I'm not going to mention because I'm trying to make him as anonymous as possible. Realistically, that's not that far at all. I've made that trip enough times before for other purposes and other people, but clearly this isn't the best situation.
I'll be honest, I don't mind not dating him, or really being with him, as directly as that term may imply, but what's lingering in the back of my mind is just knowing with the highest degree of certainty that something good is going to end and knowing the exact time of it's execution.
I've been groomed for heart-breaking good-byes after all these years and I don't even think it'll be too much of a problem for me to have to see it end. It's just really shitty in my case because it's so hard for me to find a guy who I can trust and respect, like actually respect, and when I find one, and really like him, it's not even like one of those situations where you can say, "Hey, this is great, let's give it a shot and see where it takes us" mainly because I know EXACTLY where it will take us. We're going to have an amazing summer, I know it. He's just an amazing guy and I can honestly say that every moment I've spent with him--so far--has been nothing short of amazing and I don't see that changing. However, it's inevitable that once school starts, we'll both be too busy with our own lives in different places to even consider being with each other. He'll probably be back in the city for long weekends and Christmas, but I suspect by then we won't even have a reason to see each other any more so we just won't see each other. I mean, that sucks, but it's okay. From the things he's told me and from what I've heard, it seems like he wants to be with me as badly as I want to be with him. And honestly, it's breaking my balls knowing how stupid it would be to make this official, only to see it end in the next two months.
However, it's good knowing that whatever we are now is working for us RIGHT NOW and whether or not it works for us by the end of August when whatever this is comes to an end, I'm just really glad I'm getting to spend an amazing summer with such an awesome guy.
On a side note.. although I know it's stupid of me to get into this headlock--purposefully seeing someone while being fully aware of it's end, knowing nothing more will come of it--I think that regardless where this goes from here, I really needed him these past few weeks. Maybe not him per se, but just everything that he is for me right now; someone who's shown me that I can actually trust him, someone who deserves my respect, and someone who's been very honest with me about his intentions with where we're taking this. I mean, I needed that. After losing my respect for all men and certainly losing my ability to trust any of them, he gave me a reason to trust and respect him and he hasn't shown me any reason other wise. I'm happy. Sure, I care a heck of a lot about him, I like him a lot, and I even want to be with him, but knowing it'll end on what will probably end up being on really good terms is the best part of this.
So yeah, I'm more than content, I'm happy.
With my son's birthday party coming up and everything else just slowly falling into place, I can truthfully say that my head's where it needs to be right now. No more shenaniganery for the remainder of the summer, and most certainly not once school starts in September.
It's sincerely a-significant-as-hell-lot more fun working on crafts and other neat shit for my son than it is to philander about like a semi-triumphant nymphomaniac anyway. On top of that, I'm personally very happy with the person I'm seeing now and yeah, my head's just in the right place right now. It feels good to be busy... of course it helps when I have the son, the best friends, and the guy to keep me occupied, but I think I like this situation a lot better than the one I was in two weeks ago. It's a lot easier knowing where you are and what you want... as opposed to being lost and confused with short term goals.
Anyway, the whole point of this post is to mindlessly vent.. It's not venting, really. I'm not pissed... I just need to get some thoughts off my chest..
As stated before, I'm happy. I don't feel lost or confused or angry or disappointed or heart broken or distraught or dissatisfied or sad or bored or sorry or even mellow and contented.. I'm genuinely happy without a hint of underlying somber nonchalance.. So let me explain..
I'm seeing a guy right now who I really like.. no, I REALLY like him. I guess you can say we've been "seeing" each other a little after summer started. I don't know how or why we got where we are, but I guess you could say it's because he was very persistent in his pursuit? Yeah, I guess you could say that... well, at least I'm going to say that anyway.
So far, it's been great. He makes me happy and he doesn't make me feel self-conscious about being such a young mom like most other guys do, and that's always comforting.
I suppose from that vantage point, it looks quite well and dandy...
In September, he's going back to school about 2 hours away from here, the decrepit city of Brampton, to a place that I'm not going to mention because I'm trying to make him as anonymous as possible. Realistically, that's not that far at all. I've made that trip enough times before for other purposes and other people, but clearly this isn't the best situation.
I'll be honest, I don't mind not dating him, or really being with him, as directly as that term may imply, but what's lingering in the back of my mind is just knowing with the highest degree of certainty that something good is going to end and knowing the exact time of it's execution.
I've been groomed for heart-breaking good-byes after all these years and I don't even think it'll be too much of a problem for me to have to see it end. It's just really shitty in my case because it's so hard for me to find a guy who I can trust and respect, like actually respect, and when I find one, and really like him, it's not even like one of those situations where you can say, "Hey, this is great, let's give it a shot and see where it takes us" mainly because I know EXACTLY where it will take us. We're going to have an amazing summer, I know it. He's just an amazing guy and I can honestly say that every moment I've spent with him--so far--has been nothing short of amazing and I don't see that changing. However, it's inevitable that once school starts, we'll both be too busy with our own lives in different places to even consider being with each other. He'll probably be back in the city for long weekends and Christmas, but I suspect by then we won't even have a reason to see each other any more so we just won't see each other. I mean, that sucks, but it's okay. From the things he's told me and from what I've heard, it seems like he wants to be with me as badly as I want to be with him. And honestly, it's breaking my balls knowing how stupid it would be to make this official, only to see it end in the next two months.
However, it's good knowing that whatever we are now is working for us RIGHT NOW and whether or not it works for us by the end of August when whatever this is comes to an end, I'm just really glad I'm getting to spend an amazing summer with such an awesome guy.
On a side note.. although I know it's stupid of me to get into this headlock--purposefully seeing someone while being fully aware of it's end, knowing nothing more will come of it--I think that regardless where this goes from here, I really needed him these past few weeks. Maybe not him per se, but just everything that he is for me right now; someone who's shown me that I can actually trust him, someone who deserves my respect, and someone who's been very honest with me about his intentions with where we're taking this. I mean, I needed that. After losing my respect for all men and certainly losing my ability to trust any of them, he gave me a reason to trust and respect him and he hasn't shown me any reason other wise. I'm happy. Sure, I care a heck of a lot about him, I like him a lot, and I even want to be with him, but knowing it'll end on what will probably end up being on really good terms is the best part of this.
So yeah, I'm more than content, I'm happy.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Former Posts
June 16th 2012
Bar? What bar?
So, tonight I went to a bar I've never been to before. I kinda expected it to be filled with old men and drunks, but instead... I found CHILDREN. SO MANY CHILDREN. No word of a lie, I have never seen more people with braces in a single room, the only exception to this being the orthodontist. But really, it was awful. I'm all for getting guys to buy me drinks, but not when it's with their mothers debit card.
This isn't really about sex or relationships, it's just about how disappointed I was at the turn out.
Y'all need some facial hair.
Sincerely,
ChelC-3P0
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