Former Posts

 June 16th 2012

Bar? What bar? 

So, tonight I went to a bar I've never been to before. I kinda expected it to be filled with old men and drunks, but instead... I found CHILDREN. SO MANY CHILDREN. No word of a lie, I have never seen more people with braces in a single room, the only exception to this being the orthodontist. But really, it was awful. I'm all for getting guys to buy me drinks, but not when it's with their mothers debit card. 

This isn't really about sex or relationships, it's just about how disappointed I was at the turn out. 

Y'all need some facial hair. 

Sincerely, 

ChelC-3P0

June 16th 2012
Expect Respect? Sexpect; Okay, let's make up words.
Okay, so I suppose I ought to start this with a legitimate post, right? Anyway, it's czaR2-D2 here, I'm fairly certain chelC-3P0 is busy philandering in an escapade which could lead to gory stories in the morning..
Or I could be wrong and she may just kill me for that, but we'll see.
Initially, when we decided to add a "Love & Sex" page to our blog, we had in mind something along the lines of a hot & steamy archive filled with stories about the love affairs of yesterday. Unfortunately, our sex lives, though frivolous, are both loveless and hilarious. I can't stress any more how absolutely ridiculous our stories are based on the 5 years that we've been able to tell such tales, but all I know is, chelC-3P0 is expecting that we both give our audience explicit details of our current sex life.
So here we go;
Anyone who knows us--as we are: the lovely and wonderfully comedic medley of sorts with a sardonic twist that we are--should probably be able to imagine exactly what we're like in bed. At least, that's how I imagine Chelsea in bed.... but now that I'm done beating around the bush with a lengthy introduction that I hope most of you stopped reading before getting to this part, I shall begin with the tale that Chelsea wanted me to put up because she herself didn't get to hear the conclusion of it.
Most of my really close girlfriends ought to know by now that when I'm DTF, I'm....DTF.
So after dumping a sex-buddy and immediately jumping into the next one, I found myself conflicted when facebook shut me out for 24 hours and I couldn't contact the boytoy. Embarrasing, I know. I assure you, though, I can certainly go more than 48 hours without sex, even 72 hours, I'm pretty good at abstaining.. I think.
Anyway, this particular boytoy of mine doesn't have a cellphone at the moment (no names will be shared), so we've been forced to communicate through facebook chat when we're not together. 
Alas, the pieces fall into place, so this is why I was raging when Facebook shut me out for 24 hrs.
Anyway, feeling deprived, I decided to call up an ex who I knew would 100% be DTF. Of course - he was.
Chelsea, being the chivalrous and dutiful knight that she is, told me that it was definitely a horrible idea. Granted, I knew that, I just didn't care.
Jumped in the shower, ready to meet up with my buddy, then rethought the scenario...
I realized, in the shower, that I respect the boytoy way too much to go gallivanting with my many men just because I'm bored and out of contact. Whether or not he himself goes around sleeping with the many likes of women is hardly a concern of mine, but being consciously aware that I really like the guy, I knew that the least he deserves is my monogamous sex life.
So I messaged the ex and told him I wasn't down.
Though, I might point out, it was rather adorable when he told me he shaved for me. LOL!
So to you, Chelsea, I didn't fuck him; I kind of do care about the boytoy a little too much; I can exercise a life of self-control and virtue when it suits me >=P
And to everyone reading; you now know a very silly detail of my life.


czaR2-D2
Again, no names, just sex. 

June 16th 2012 
Welcome to our hearts, may I introduce you to our vaginas?
This particular page in our blog is strictly dedicated to the frustrating love & sex lives we lead.

Picture this:

Throwing 500 unmatched socks of varying texture, length, design, pattern, colour, material--and whatever else can be used to define a sock--into a washing machine, and then trying to distinguish the pairs that go together. That defines our individual love lives in a nutshell.
Now, imagine that you decide upon one particular sock to wear, but because you're too frustrated to find the matching pair, you collect about 10 relatively similar pairs and make your rounds wearing each prospective match throughout the course of the week with the hopes that each will temporarily suffice until you can find the appropriate match. That defines our individual sex lives in a nutshell.

Am I trying to incur that we are both somewhat whore-ish?
Well, we'll let you decide for yourselves, but we wouldn't be posting these blogs if we knew we'd have a problem being judged.
Once again, these are the lives we lead, fancy, frivolous, and freaky at best.

czaR2-D2