Reserving my right to a monogamous fuck.

It's self explanatory.
Basically, I screwed around with three guys in 24 hours sometime early last week.
I didn't think I would post that, but this is a reveal-all, tell-all blog so I'm living up to that statement.
Judge me if you will, that's cool, I accept it. I'm not proud of what I did, and I'm beating myself right the fuck up for it too, but hey, you gotta sacrifice some things, like your dignity, to realize where your head really needs to be.

I have absolute butterflies for this guy, I mean damn, he makes me giddy. I haven't smiled this way just thinking about someone in a LONG TIME. He doesn't deserve a dumb bitch like me, but I'm not down to lose him right now because he may just be my saving grace of the summer. If I could have a guy like him forever and for always, I wouldn't complain, but just having him for two more months will suffice and I'm not down for giving him up just because I dun' goofed.

I don't know how to apologize to him because I haven't told him about what happened and to be honest, I don't think I will. I doubt he even reads this blog because I've never talked about this with him before and he's never mentioned it. I really hope he doesn't see this anytime soon.. or ever.

Anyway, the whole point of that was getting it off my chest and putting down in writing that I'm not going to go around making out with randoms or having affairs with exes because there's a guy who I like and really care about and I think...just maybe...it might hurt him to ever find out what I did.

So to the guy I like, although you may never read this, I'm really sorry. I do, I really really do care so much about you. I love our friendship way too much to ruin it by philandering the rest of my summer and I didn't mean to do what I did to intentionally cause harm to you. I know it looks like I'm toying with you, but I'm not. You're better than my thoughtless actions gave way and it took me a shoe-less walk down Queen Street to realize that you really care about me the way you say you do.. I'm not gonna risk doing stupid shit anymore and even though we're not dating or even ever planning to date, I know, just by the way you kiss me, that you would be happier knowing I was just yours for the summer. So here she is, the monogamous summer I promised you. I'm sorry; and knowing you'll never read this, I hope that in the subconscious dream world of astral cosmic existences, we'll somehow find each other so you can forgive me and forget about the entirety of it in your wake. I like you, a lot; and hey, I'm pretty crazy about you too.