NOT a sex post. So please, feel free to stop reading now in case my dealings of emotions don't tickle your fancy.
Anyway, I've been friends with a particular guy for a few years now, we were never really close friends, but he's always been very good to me in the line of respect and friendship.
Since summer's been here for a while, we recently started hooking up, at least about a month ago and that's all it's really been if you take away the friendly conversations we have on the reg. I feel bad for referring to him in the blog as my "boytoy", but realistically, I can't call him anything else while refusing to mention his name. I feel like sexbuddy or fuckbuddy is a little harsh, and technically, so is referring to him as boytoy, but whatever. It is what it is.
Anyway, I guess it's fair to say that because of our friendship, I've always cared a lot about him because even though we never really talked on a regular basis, definitely not as daily as we do now, he's always been there for me and entirely understanding of my situation. OR rather, he's been entirely understanding of my many situations when I randomly decided to vent to him.
I never, however, thought I would really like him more than a friend because he's always been such a good friend to me. Even when we started hooking up, I knew I cared about him significantly, but I never thought I'd harbor any feelings for him that were outside the "friendship" we already had.
I can't admit to having strong feelings because I don't, but I'll be honest, I do like him a lot. I don't think this is going anywhere, given both our situations, and because we've really only been seeing each other to maximize the fun out of our summer as friends, I can't picture us dating. However, I think I'm crushing, and for now I think it's cute because he gives me butterflies.
With that being said, I think I'm done my frivolity. No more random, drunken make-outs with guys AND girls alike. And no more of the other things that my best friends know of... yeah.. even if he chooses to do his own business as a casual philanderer, I'll keep it clean for the rest of the summer until this is over because I respect him a ton.
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